She Was His
by Erythros
Summary: A long time ago, there was an instance when she loved him... Once, she was his. HGDM
1. One

**Author's Note: **This was a request of my best friend as a Christmas present. So if this turns out to be… well… you know, please do recall that I am under pressure as to the fact that I must give this to her by Tuesday of next week. Sigh She could have just settled for bath products or something for a Christmas present, but _nooooo_, she had to ask me for a fic. So here it is. Hope you all find it…well, you know.

**Dedications: **To **Onzie**, here ya go. Hope it suits your tastes.

* * *

**She Was His**

Every day he would watch her.

Every single day with loyalty.

He would sit still and gaze at her for long moments, wearing a thoughtfully glum expression on his face. His gray eyes would follow her every movement with profound concentration as if it was such a necessary thing to do so.

In the crowds of students, in the Great Hall, in classes, in random walkways, he would find her. He would stop amidst the traffic of people, caring little if he caused difficulty, just so he could glance at her. Watch her.

All this she knew, he was sure of it; yet she never stopped for him. Never did she at the least tilt her head towards him to let him know she knew he was watching. Her brown eyes would not pass his direction, for he knew she refused to. She would avoid him at all costs, keeping her distance as far away from him as possible.

Once, though, there was a time when he was able to keep her near him. He was able to wrap his arms around her and keep her in them for as long as he wanted; once, he could reach out to her and run his fingers down her cheek or grasp her hand and entwine it with his. Once, there was a time when she always rested her head on his shoulder and once, he was allowed to kiss her.

A long time ago, there was an instance when she loved him. Once, she was his.

He remembered the words she told him, those which had stung. She loved another, she said, albeit the tears she shed when she told him, and she had wanted to part. He had asked for a reason, but it was a strange thing that she never gave him a proper one and instead had uttered that she no longer loved him.

He was suffering now, watching the girl he loved so dearly love another. He always hid in the shadows, following them to wherever they may go, and reliving those moments with her.

And every time he did so, he would gaze at her with dire longing, muttering the name of his beloved.

"Hermione."

* * *

He hated her for everything he was going through. He watched as she laughed, smiled with palpable joy and spent her life with obvious happiness… It seemed that he had never been part of her life at all; he was merely a passing fling that had happened to cross paths with her own.

She wasn't hurt. She wasn't in pain.

And he hated her for it.

Here he was tormented by her very presence. She was all he thought of nowadays. He dreamt of her; he succumbed to the memories he had with her, and willed time to go back to those days.

It ached to have her so near him, and yet never be allowed to be with her. She would always be there among the masses of people inhabiting the castle, and yet he could not approach her. Now he could only dream of holding her, being next to her, close enough to touch her face.

He walked on through the hallways of the castle, passing by places he once went to with her. There wasn't a place that would not make him forget that she was there. It was agonizing to find that her essence was everywhere, lingering aimlessly and reminding him of her.

_Stop it, _he thought angrily, ashamed and furious that he could do nothing to stop thinking about that one girl. He was helpless to her memory alone and he was powerless over her. Such thoughts raced through his mind so violently that he could not pay attention to where he was going. Sooner or later, he had bumped into someone and he staggered backwards, groping on anything for support.

A small gasp caught his attention, and he looked up, his heart racing in incredible speed. He knew that voice all too well, despite the inaudibility of her voice.

And there she was standing right in front of him, looking as beautiful as he always remembered when she was this close. Her amber eyes, so bright and full of surprise, her cheeks a plush red, her lips half open in shock – he had almost forgotten the bitterness he felt towards her. A rush of alive emotions swept over him, and the ache to have her again, once latent, was now vibrant as it had originally been.

"Malfoy," she spoke.

They were the first words she had spoken to him after the incident. So much like the last words she said, this one stung as badly, for she hadn't uttered his name. _Draco. _She was hostile, distant.

"You look well," she said, smiling amiably.

He blinked in reply, the resentment in him arising once again. She was smiling, appearing to be happy, but he knew her all too well to see behind her façade. Hidden beneath the reflected joy in the pools of brown in her eyes, he saw it: desolation. Was it because of him?

Hermione smiled gently, fidgeting. "How are you?"

"You should know," he replied indifferently, staring at her in defiance.

"Draco."

There it was. He was all too happy to find that she still managed to call her by his first name, but what followed had struck him with hurt.

She looked at him and laid a comforting hand on his and he looked up. Was she gazing at him with pity?

She smiled with sympathy and said, "I've gone through with it too; I _know _what you're feeling…"

"You don't know what I'm feeling." He suddenly grabbed her hand and grasped it tightly, his eyes flaring with anger, passion and all the longing he had tried to withstand, and he pulled her close to him. She stared at him in astonishment and stood still before him. "You don't know how much I suffer when I see you with him, when I have to watch you give him everything that should've been yours to give to me. You don't know how so damn painful it is to have to have you this close and not be able to be with you. You don't bloody well know how excruciating it is to see him kiss you or hold your hand or hug you! I can't seem to forget you, even if I try to – I don't even know why it has to be this hard to forget someone, I just don't know why…"

Breathless was he when he finished, and yet he dared not to let go of her. She stared at him in shock, she as well breathing quite quickly, and her eyes wide, speechless.

"I hate you." He whispered. His heart felt the grief he knew he couldn't bear, and all he wanted to do was scream at her for everything she had done to hurt him. He didn't deserve this much pain… What had he done to earn this? "I hate you." He repeated, trying so desperately to convince himself that he did.

Her eyes brimmed with tears, and what ought to have been joy in her eyes was replaced with hurt and anger. "Please let go of me," she answered, her voice breaking as tears rolled down her cheeks.

And he did, rather unwillingly, stepping backwards as he watched her run off. She deserved it. She had to feel the torment he was feeling.

He hated her…

So much.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Nope, this is sadly not the end. My friend asked for at least a 2 chapter long fanfic. So stay tuned for the next chapter. If you liked the beginning. Which I'm pretty sure you really didn't. But if in case you did, hope you review. It's what keeps me going in fanfic-writing.


	2. Two

**Author's Note: **I'm back! Here is the second chapter of this present. I now not only dedicate to my friend, but to all who had taken the time to read this. Thank you and happy holidays! Thanks to all who reviewed – I really really _ENJOY _getting reviews, so if you guys would like to give me something this Christmas, a review will do! Lol, hehehehe.

* * *

**SHE WAS HIS**

Chapter Two

* * *

That night, Hermione Granger could not sleep. What she had feared the most since their breakup – that which was a confrontation with _him _– had happened. Tears stained her gentle face, and she made no motion to wipe them away.

She sat before the fire, gazing blankly into the crimson flames, and wished that all of her would burn into nothing in them. Seeing him and looking so deeply into his eyes – those pools of gray she loved drowning in - made it all the more harder to forget and to let go, for even when she was finally with another man, her heart still belonged to him.

She recalled his words, spun passionately with heated anger, hate and pain. He told her he hated her… how he hated her for his suffering, the torment she had caused him, the fact that she had left him broken and vulnerable. He meant it, yet at the same time, she knew for certain he didn't.

He loved her…

He loved her too much, and all she could give back to him after all they had gone through together was sorrow. Much tears rolled down her cheeks as she bit her lip in shame, and she shook her head in an attempt to shake off her thoughts.

_This _was her fault anyway. _She _had wanted to end everything.

_And for what? _She thought bitterly.

She had given him up for something that could not compare to what she had with him. She had grown afraid, terrified, of the things that could be: her dearest friends and acquaintances thinking poorly of her, ashamed that she had to fall for someone they had already disapproved of long ago; everyone else whispering behind her back, knowing her for the girl who did something quite unbelievable and unexpected of her; his family despising her very essence and cruelly putting her down, making her feel what she deserved and regarding her as what she really was – a Mudblood; and the isolation of all people who had once respected her.

Tremendously foolish things they were, she had realized soon afterwards. She terribly missed that one person she had cut off from her life – she craved for his embrace, his whispers of devoted affection, the sweet taste of his kisses, his closeness, his very essence. How she longed to see that gentle smile, which always graced his cold features every time he would look upon her! Oh, if only he would never again wear the agonized scowl he always had on whenever he glanced at her nowadays.

"Still up, love?" A gentle voice broke her melancholy thoughts. Hermione turned around to just see in time a boy with bright crimson hair, and a face so full of apparent innocence and joy. How he contrasted the one she always thought of.

Ronald Weasley blinked and sat by her. "Have you been crying?" he asked worriedly, his face stricken with loving concern. He brought his hand to her face, drying her tears with gentle fingers. "What's wrong?"

Looking into his amber eyes, she now longed to instead gaze upon the icy gray of her Slytherin beloved. She shook her head in reply, and tried desperately to forget all thoughts of him.

"Ron?" she asked.

"Yeah?"

For a moment she paused, hesitating on what she was about to say. No sooner were the words out, and she had immediately regretted having said them.

"Would you kiss me?"

For a second, he looked surprised, for Hermione was never one to ask for such unusual favors. But sooner or later, he leant in, his lips upon hers, his hand placed lightly on her cheek. Hermione closed her eyes, tears silently streaming down her cheeks. Something was not right; never did Ron's kisses make her forget.

She loved him too much…

No one could ever replace _him. _

* * *

For the first time, she had glanced back at him.

He had been staring again from across the Great Hall, his mind in chaos, his concentration all poured onto her. And for the very first time, _she _had managed to glance back.

Soon the moment was lost in one split second, and Draco could hardly tell if it had happened at all, for the next second he chanced upon her, she had gone back to laughing with her friends. Weasley's arm was draped around her, and she leant onto him affectionately.

Hadn't he done that before?

Yes… They often lay under the infamous willow tree by the lake, relaxing beneath a starry night. He would keep her in his arms to keep both of them warm, and she would snuggle in closer and rest her head on his shoulder. They would go on talking for hours into dawn, or they would remain in silence, appreciating the time they had been given to be with each other.

And many times during those moments did he tell her how much he loved her, and she would respond, reciprocating his words.

How stupid he was to believe such lies.

* * *

**Author's Note: **That's the end of chapter two. Not yet done, though. Hahahahaha. To make the angst more effective (as I am no angsty type of writer obviously) I suggest you listen to some sentimental sad love song, preferably something instrumental and with no words. Of course, that works for me only, I guess. But give it a try! wink

Watch out for chapter three as I am going to write it right after uploading this chapter, and I sincerely hope you enjoyed this chapter, despite its short length.

Review!

And happy holidays! By this I mean Happy New Year, seeing as Christmas has already come and gone. grins

Thanks!


	3. Three

**Chapter Three**

* * *

It was raining that day when she told him for the first time she loved him.

He recalled having been under the rain when she tugged at his sleeve, closed her eyes, held her breath and finally screamed out that she loved him. Her unkempt bangs were plastered onto her forehead and she was drenched from head to toe; despite all the cold and drenched feelings, she laughed afterwards, no longer awaiting for his response, for all that mattered to her was that she told him… telling him was freedom for her. He remembered her laughing, shouting that she didn't care if he didn't feel the same way; all that was important for her was that he finally knew.

She had begun to skip all the way back to the castle, when he pulled her back to him, embracing her from behind. She gave an audible gasp, and his hold on her grew tighter. He rested his chin on her shoulder, and she placed her hand onto his, grasping it tightly. They stood still and silent for quite a time, under the beautiful gray sky and rain… He knew that was enough for her to know how he felt.

That memory was why he had grown to love rain.

The rain was his to enjoy, just as she was his to love.

"It's raining awfully hard." The girl beside him remarked, and she glanced at him, smiling.

Draco smiled back slightly and turned back to look out of the window. Rain was pounding against the glass, and the sky was a dark gray. He pulled back and turned to look at the girl. She was nothing at all like _her_. The girl who stood by him had short black hair and suspenseful blue eyes, looking beautifully pale in the darkness which enveloped the empty hallway.

Without warning he took her hand in his and began to walk down the hall.

"Where are we going?" Pansy Parkinson asked as he pulled her about the corner.

Draco looked back and gave her a cheeky grin. "You'll see."

And there they were before they knew it, under the blessed rain. He let go of her hand, running about the damp grounds and spreading his arms wide as if to welcome the rain falling heavily down upon them.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Draco?" Pansy screamed. "You know we'll get sick under this damn weather!"

"It feels good, doesn't it, Pansy?" he shouted back, chuckling to himself as he closed his eyes and faced upwards towards the heavens. "Don't you like it?"

"I absolutely do not!"

He laughed, and craned his head to look at her. There she stood, a few meters away from him, her robes soaked wet, her usually perfected hair drenched because of the rain. As he gazed at her, his brief joy ebbed away, and the familiar longing for another had resurfaced once again. No faint glimmer of childish delight was there in Pansy's intense blue eyes, no blush marred her fair cheeks, no gentle smile crossed her burgundy lips.

The grin that had once emerged from his face vanished, and was replaced then by a heartbroken scowl. He watched as Pansy turned her back on him, trying to wring the water from her black robes. He gazed at her as she motioned to go back inside the dry castle…

And before he knew what had come over him, he had run to her and enveloped her in his arms, embracing her from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder and whispering to her to just keep silent for a while.

Pansy nodded, and brought her hand to his, grasping it gently.

There they stood for a few minutes, in each other's arms, under the darkness and the rain. In that little time, he had realized such a thing. He slowly opened his eyes and whispered inaudibly, _I can't ever replace you, can I, Hermione?_

"Library?"

Hermione glanced at Ron and went back to packing her books inside her bag. "Yes, I just need to check out a reference book to complete my Ancient Runes homework," she replied offhandedly, slinging her bag on her shoulder. "Why, would you like to accompany me, Ronald?"

Ron waved his hand absentmindedly without looking up from his Divination homework. "No, no, you go ahead, love."

Hermione smiled. "How about you, Harry?"

The raven-haired boy shook his head in reply. "Nah, will be needing to finish Charms after this, sorry."

"Alright then, see you later," she answered. A pleased smile played on her lips; it wasn't as if she didn't want her friends' company – it was just that, she needed time alone for now. Besides finishing her schoolwork as she initially planned to do, she wanted to think things over. Forget some things – or rather, _someone _– and begin another chapter of her life.

Hermione steadily raced to the library, taking the back end of the castle, which was normally lacking in humans and ghosts alike. More windows and more passageways were present in this side of Hogwarts, where the outside scenery could flaunt its beauty to the inhabitant of the castle. Today's view, Hermione noted, was almost synonymous to sadness, what with all the colors gone but gray and rain cascading incessantly from the skies. _Still, _she thought, stopping in her tracks in front of a huge window, _it's as breathtaking as it usually is on a sunny day. _

She looked down below and took in all the mundane magnificence Nature had to offer her today. The sound of rain was usually calming in its effects on her, and for a moment, she believed that she could hear nothing but its monotonous tone – the plops and splashes, the plips and the splatters.

Hermione smiled, and looked about. Trees everywhere were evidently soaked and everything outside seemed to be refreshed because of the rainfall. _Utterly lovely, _she thought approvingly. Nothing out of place, everything all right.

But somehow, there was a figure outside which had caught her attention. Before resuming her trip to the library, she turned back and observed it keenly.

Tall, lean, and with… _blonde hair. _

Standing outside in the rain was…

Hermione dropped her belongings, her hands coming over her mouth in shock. Without a second thought, she sped down and reached the exit.

And sure enough, he was there outside, his head hung low, drenched from head to foot.

"Draco Malfoy, come back into the castle right this minute!" she screamed, stomping her foot in anxiety.

The boy looked up at her, his expression bewildered. From this far a distance, Hermione could still see the perfect gray of his eyes, and how they were so alive a color in comparison with the grayness which shrouded their surroundings. Not a moment too soon, his answer came in a shout.

"I believe this is none of your business, Granger!"

His stubbornness and snide remarks never failed to frustrate her. "Why in Merlin's sake, are you there, Malfoy?"

He turned away and looked heavenwards. He closed his eyes calmly and scowled. "I was trying to remember something. Or rather, I was trying to relive that something." There came a pause, wherein Hermione could no longer hear anything but the rain and could no longer see anything or anyone but the boy who seemed rooted on the damp grounds of Hogwarts.

She watched him as he stood still, the rain running down his face, and his expression nonchalant of the present conditions. Then slowly… cautiously, she stepped out of her dry shelter and into the rain. A surge of… _something_ ran through her as she neared Draco step by step. Her heart beat painfully in her chest, but she kept her head high and her steps unfaltering.

He continued on further on his reply. "I distinctly remember a rainy day like this, when someone of importance came and told me the most important words I've ever heard…

"As much as I used to hate rain, I loved it like anything when that day passed. I held that someone under the rain and because of that, I thought that rain was undoubtedly warm and cozy, unlike what other people think of it.

"But I think I've lost that someone and together with her, I lost that warmth… and now I think that the others were right; rain _is_ cold and harsh."

He glanced at her.

"I brought Pansy with me out here today, and thought it possible that she could give back that warmth when I held her. But do you know what, Granger?" He laughed heartlessly and ran a hand through his damp hair. "I'm pretty sure I still feel cold."

Hermione watched as he turned around to face her. The sky was darkening second by second; the air was getting chillier.

The rain began to fall harder. Neither, however, seemed to care, for they just stood motionless, gazing at each other in silence. Gray eyes bore into mahogany eyes, exchanging unspoken emotions neither could dare to bring up.

And finally, he was the one who broke the uneasy stillness. Without a word he brushed past her, heading back towards the comforts of the castle ahead.

Hermione watched his retreating figure helplessly, unable to scream the words which she longed to tell him. She yearned to say how much she loved him…

And before she knew it, he had run to him in desperation, locking him in an embrace just as he once did to her. They were still under the peril of rain, yet neither cared…

There was no need for an exchange of words, no need for loving looks.

All that it took was that one embrace…


End file.
